


the world will follow after

by steveandbucky



Series: in any version of reality [24]
Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Accidental Relationship, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Awkwardness, Bisexual Steve Rogers, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Gay Bucky Barnes, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Humor, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-01
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-04-05 06:48:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19043317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/steveandbucky/pseuds/steveandbucky
Summary: “What happened is, Bucky thought I wanted to date him.”“And?”“And I didn’t correct him.”





	the world will follow after

**Author's Note:**

> heads up for implied drug use in case that makes you uncomfortable  
> also im semi-active on tumblr again if u want to follow me im steveandbucky and pls let me know so i can follow back!

 

“Oh,” Bucky perks up when he sees the brunette at the counter. He leans forward in his seat, and uses his pen to tap on Steve’s arm, trying to get his attention. “Look, it’s David.”

Steve makes a non-committal noise, too engrossed in his Gender Studies textbook to pay any attention to Bucky’s gibberish. 

“Steve,” Bucky pokes him with his pen. “It’s  _ David _ .”

“What David?”

“The David that I almost hooked up with at that Christmas party. You don’t remember? He’s been low-key ghosting me ever since.”

Steve hums. “That sucks,” he mumbles. He doesn’t really care much to keep up with Bucky’s dating shenanigans. Especially not now with his exam coming up, which Bucky is supposed to be helping him study for, but he’s apparently too concerned with his potential hook ups’ whereabouts. 

“Hang on, I have an idea,” Bucky gets up from the armchair where he was slumped and sits down next to Steve, scooting his chair closer to his friend. “Hey, put your arm around me or something,”

“Huh?” Steve looks up suddenly, a little startled to see Bucky suddenly so close to him, invading his personal space. “Wha - what’re you doing?”

“Trying to make him jealous, duh.” Bucky’s turned his head slightly towards Steve, but his gaze is somewhere else entirely.

“Okay?” Steve says, still confused. 

Bucky’s barely paying attention to him. He’s looking at David, following his movements as he crosses the cafe and stops by to talk to someone he seems to know. Bucky tries to look busy, and every time David looks towards his general direction, he quickly looks away, pretending to focus on Steve’s textbook. 

Sadly, David doesn’t even look at him, much less talk to him. He leaves the coffee shop moments later and Bucky sighs, disappointed. 

“Well that’s fucking rude,” he says somewhat grouchily and leaves Steve’s side, going to slump on his comfy armchair. 

“Don’t you think that’s a little inconsiderate?” Steve says, a crease between his eyebrows. 

“What is?”

“Just, using people like that. To make other people jealous.”

Bucky looks at him blankly. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Steve sighs. He’s been stuck on the same sentence for the last five minutes, and is currently regretting talking the elective. It doesn’t help that Bucky’s distracting him. He shuts his book and picks up his sketchpad. 

“I just mean you have to think about people’s feelings, you know?”

Bucky’s eyes widen. “Are you...people?”

“Huh?”

“Uhh,” Bucky averts his gaze, a sudden flash of heat colouring his cheeks pink. He rubs his neck awkwardly and tries to meet Steve’s eyes again. “I’m sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t know you felt that way.”

Steve’s stunned to silence, eyes grown wide. “What do you-”

“So…” Bucky’s leaning in now, with his folded arms resting on the table, and a shy smile playing on his lips. “Do you want to...go out?”

“Oh,” says Steve. “ _ Oh. _ ”

“I mean we don’t have to-”

“No, no,” Steve nods, but he can’t quite meet Bucky in the eye. His heart is racing in his chest and he’s struggling to find the words. “Yeah, let’s...let’s do that.”

“Okay,” Bucky smiles wider now. “Then it’s a date.”

  
  


~~

  
  


When Steve gets home, his finds Sam on the couch with his computer on his lap and his feet on the coffee table, Netflix on in the background. 

“Look what the cat dragged in,” Sam mumbles, almost to himself. 

Steve walks over and flops on the couch next to him wordlessly. He must look as lost as he feels because Sam tosses a Twizzler at him and asks him if he’s okay. 

“Bucky-” Steve says, and stops, tries to organise the chaos in his head into a coherent sentence. “I’m going on a date with Bucky.”

Sam lets out a happy cheer. “‘Bout time! Where are you guys going? You know, I always thought you’d just get drunk and bone, but this is pretty mature. I’m proud of you kids.”

“What?” Steve turns to him, a mix of disbelief and disdain on his face. “I’m not going to bone - what are you  _ talking  _ about?”

Sam raises an eyebrow. “What’s got your panties in a twist?”

“I didn’t… I mean, it just sort of - it happened accidentally!” 

“What happened accidentally?”

“The whole… thing.” Steve makes a vague sweeping gesture with his hand. 

“Okay,” Sam says slowly, pretending to understand. “So, what happened?”

“What happened is, Bucky thought I wanted to date him.”

“And?”

“And I didn’t correct him.”

“But...you  _ don’t  _ want to date him?”

“No,” Steve sighs, dragging a hand over his face and covering his mouth with it.

“And you’re sure about that.”

“Yes, I’m sure!”

“Alright, alright,” Sam says with a chuckle. “So, what are you gonna do?”

Steve groans. He kicks his shoes off and gets to his feet, wandering towards the kitchen to get himself a cold beer. “I don’t know. I don’t want to hurt him. I guess I gotta figure out how I’m gonna let him down gently. Oh God, then it’s gonna be awkward, and we won’t know how to act around each other, and then we won’t be friends anymore. Great.”

Sam watches him, slightly amused. “I’m gonna let you spiral in peace. I’ve got a paper to focus on.”

“Thanks, you’re the best,” Steve says sarcastically. 

  
  


~~

  
  


The date is on Saturday night. It’s a fancier restaurant than those they frequent. Steve tries to remember the last time he’s been on an actual dinner date, but nothing comes to mind, which is worrying. The last few people he’s dated, he met through friends, at a mutual class or a party or some event or another. Sam tends to drag him to one every other week, telling him off for not socialising enough or having enough fun. Whatever that means. 

So Steve’s on the bus on his way to  _ Cafe L’Amour,  _ panicking and wiping his sweaty palms on his thighs, which makes him cringe every time. These are his  _ nice _ jeans. They make his ass look good, and all. According to Natasha, that’s his best feature. Steve pulls out his phone and texts her, asking her  _ ‘any last minute advice?’ _

Natasha comes back with,  _ ‘just be yourself. and if you need condoms, i’m always a 5 minute ride away!’ _

He laughs and puts his phone away. She actually lives further away, now that she’s moved in with her girlfriend of five years - which,  _ wow _ \- but he’s seen Sharon drive and it was … an experience. A terrifying experience that Steve does not want to repeat. 

Lost in his thoughts, Steve very nearly misses his stop. The crisp air that hits his face when he steps out is refreshing. He takes a deep breath and crosses the street, heading towards the restaurant. The maitre d’ tells him their table is not ready yet, and shows him to the bar where Bucky is waiting for him. 

Bucky lights up when he sees him, and waves him over. Steve has never been this nervous in his entire life. 

“Glad you made it. Our table isn’t ready yet.” Bucky tells him. “I can’t believe you chose a this kind of restaurant.”

“What? What’s wrong with this kind of restaurant?” Steve asks, a look of innocent surprise on his face.

Bucky makes a face. “It’s the ‘your table isn’t ready yet, why don’t you spend a couple hundred at our expensive bar and get super drunk on an empty stomach’ kind of restaurant.” 

Steve breathes a sigh of relief, laughing. “Yeah, okay, that’s on me. What are you having?”

“The cheapest whiskey. I thought beer would be … you know. Like the bartender would judge me if I ordered beer.” Bucky shrugs and grimaces as he takes another sip.

Steve looks at him, lips stretching into a grin. Bucky’s dressed nice, the deep blue shirt with his sleeves rolled up, revealing his nice forearms. The black denim pants are just the right kind of skinny, that show off his impressive thighs. He’s put his hair into a low bun. He even smells good. He’s put a lot of effort into looking good for their date, and it shows. 

“We can always get margaritas.” Steve says, nudging Bucky with his elbow. “Or cosmopolitans. What else does Nat drink?”

Bucky breaks into a grin. “Ooh, maybe a Manhattan?”

Steve orders them two of those and they make small talk while they drink. It’s not awkward. They’ve done this a hundred times before, since the first time they got their hands on some fake IDs and hit the shadiest dive bar that would let them in. 

When they’re shown to their table and seated, things get a little awkward. 

Steve’s too distracted to even look at the menu properly. There’s a fancy candle, and even a little vase with a single rose - a real one, even. It’s all so...romantic. His stomach is once again tied in knots because it’s really happening now. He’s really on a goddamn date with his best friend.

Bucky puts his menu down with a groan. “Okay, I’m gonna be honest. This is slightly ridiculous.”

Steve forgets how to breathe. “Uhh, what-”

“This place is way too fancy. Have you looked at the prices? Is the chicken coated with gold? Salad with hazelnuts and fucking diamonds?!”

Steve snorts a laugh, struggling to contain his giggling, while Bucky just grins, looking proud of himself for making Steve laugh. 

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t have a sugar daddy who will pay for me to go on romantic dinner dates with other people.” 

Steve laughs some more. “It’s not that bad. We’re splitting the bill, aren’t we?”

“Oh, we are? Some gentleman you are.” Bucky says nonchalantly, returning his attention to the menu.

Steve scrunches up his napkin and throws it at Bucky’s face, catching him by surprise.

“Steven! Behave! This is a nice place!”

“Fuck off.”

The couple seated on their left side give them a pair of judgemental looks, and Steve blushes and clears his throat, suddenly remembering where they are. He looks at the menu again, even though he’s not even hungry. All the stressing has effectively killed his appetite. 

“Have you decided what you would like, darling?” Bucky asks moments later. 

“Nope. You?”

Bucky shakes his head. He closes his menu and puts it aside. “This is stupid. We should just go to Five Guys,”

“Oh, I love Five Guys.” Steve glances up from his menu. “Wait, seriously?”

“Yes, seriously.” Bucky says. “I mean...why not? Unless you want to stay?”

Steve thinks about it for a moment. “Fuck it, let’s go.”

They’re about to get up when a waitress approaches them, notebook in hand and a friendly smile on her face. Steve and Bucky share a look of panic before Bucky jumps in to save the day, telling her that there’s an emergency with their friend’s chinchilla and they need to go. Steve barely keeps a straight face, keeping his gaze at his hands folded on his lap because he’s sure if he saw the look on the waitress’ face he’d burst out laughing. Chinchilla?  _ Really? _

They burst out laughing once they’re out the door and turn to each other, share a look, and start laughing again. 

“So, that was a big fail, right?” Bucky asks, tucking his hands in his pockets. 

Steve glances at him briefly, too nervous to hold his gaze. “Eh, we tried it out, right?” he shrugs. 

“Yeah, never again.” Bucky grabs him by the elbow and drags him along as he starts crossing the street. “Off to Five Guys!”

After they’re done eating and are struggling to finish their milkshakes, Bucky turns to him and says, “So this is probably the weirdest but best date I’ve ever been on. Good job, pal.”

Steve blanks. “Oh...is this still-” he catches himself before he can finish the sentence.

“What?” Bucky asks, looking worried. 

“Oh, nothing - I thought you said - it was a big fail, and...”

“Oh.”

Now Bucky is the one who looks slightly alarmed, and the silence stretches on, becoming more and more awkward. Steve is racking his brain for something to say, nerves are rising in his stomach again.

“Hey,” Bucky reaches out and wraps his hand around Steve’s wrist, gaining his attention. “Like you said - we tried it, right?”

Steve nods slowly. “I guess so.”

“You wanna call it a night and go watch Westworld or something?”

“Way ahead of you,” Steve says, pulling out his phone to order an Uber.

  
  


~~

  
  


Bucky arrives at the apartment Sam shares with Steve and Scott a quarter to seven on Friday evening, which is much earlier than the time he had agreed to meet Sam. Scott lets him in before he leaves to go meet some girl, and Bucky finds himself alone at the apartment - Sam’s still at the gym, and Steve is in the shower, apparently. 

He sighs and flops on the couch, kicking off his shoes before he rests his feet at the coffee table. Out of pure boredom, he opens the latest dating app on his phone and starts swiping left and right - mostly left. No one really seems to hold his interest these days. Nevermind  that half the guys he’s actually interested in don’t actually reply to his messages which…. Rude. Bucky’s a  _ catch _ . 

He’s half-heartedly texting with a guy named Derek, who’s very keen to meet Bucky at his apartment tonight, when Steve walks in the living room, and jumps a little, startled to see Bucky.

“Relax, I’m not robbing you.” Bucky looks up and sees Steve standing at the doorway with his eyes wide, and a hand clutched at the towel around his waist. “At least not yet.”

“Sorry,” Steve smiles sheepishly. “Thought I was home alone. How did you get in?”

“Scott let me in. I’m waiting for Sam.” Bucky’s eyes follow the blonde’s figure as he crosses the room and disappears into the kitchen. His dick, which often has a mind of its own, twitches in his pants. 

Bucky’s eyes grow wide. “ _ Shit _ .” He sits up straight and adjusts himself.

Unfortunately, Steve walks in the room again, drinking from a water bottle. “Oh right,” he says, sounding a little breathless. “You’re going to the party, right?”

Bucky’s staring at him. He doesn’t want to be staring, but it’s almost like he has no control over his actions. His eyes roam over Steve’s perfectly chiseled torso; his perfect pecs and abs, his arms, his shoulders, the happy trail that disappears under the towel and  _ holy shit. _

“Buck?”

Bucky snaps out of his thoughts with a startle. “Sorry. I keep zoning out. Um, are you...coming to the party with us?”

Steve makes a face. “Nah, not in the mood,” he says and heads off to his bedroom to get dressed, presumably. 

“Cool,” Bucky says, absentmindedly, watching him walk away. He slumps back in his seat and lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding.  _ What  _ just happened?!

His phone pings, alerting him of a new message from Derek. Bucky unmatches him and exits the app. 

Maybe there’s an explanation. Maybe he’s just horny. Maybe he should’ve gone to meet Derek and scratched the itch, so to say, and then forget this had ever happened. Because they went on a date that turned out to be so weird; they tried it out, and it didn’t work. 

“Oh, God,” Bucky leans forward, dropping his face in his hands. 

“Hey. You alright?”

Bucky looks up and there’s Steve, dressed in his favourite gray sweatpants and a soft white t-shirt, toweling his hair dry. His dick twitches with interest and Bucky seriously considers punching himself in the groin. 

“Yeah. Do you wanna get super drunk?”

Steve grins. “Sure, I don’t have anything better going on.”

By the time Sam gets home, they’re slightly tipsy and laughing hysterically at funny cat video compilations. They make Sam watch some with them, and then Bucky and Sam convince Steve to go to the party with them. The argument is that it’s a Stark party, and the alcohol is always plenty and free, and Steve gives in and changes into a nice outfit. 

The party’s in full swing when they arrive. Stark’s house is huge, complete with a hot tub in the massive garden  _ and _ a heated indoors pool. There’s a home-movie theatre which has been turned into a what can only be describe a rave, with a professional DJ and colourful glow sticks being passed around.

Bucky regrets not bringing a swimsuit, but that is not the case for Sam, who cannonballs into the water, splashing everyone surrounding the pool who cheer him on. Steve takes off in search for more alcohol, and Bucky decides to mingle and see if anyone interesting has shown up. He’s hanging out with a small group of people listening to Rhodey and Stark telling a hilarious story of their Vegas trip mishap when suddenly someone slides up to him and nudges him to get his attention.

Bucky’s eyes widen when he sees it’s David. “Hey,”

“Can I try a pick up line on you?” David asks, leaning against the wall with his hands in his jeans’ pockets. 

Bucky groans internally. Even the way he’s standing is sexy. “Sure, but I don’t think it’ll work,” he says, trying to play it cool.

David grins. “Did it hurt?”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Did what hurt,” he says in a flat tone, playing along.  

“When you fell from the vending machine?”

“Huh?” Bucky blinks, confused.

“‘Cause you’re a  _ snack _ ,” David tells him, leaning in closer, grinning mischievously. 

Bucky chuckles. “Okay, that’s … kind of original, I guess. Did you stay up all night trying to come up with that?”

“Nah, a buddy of mine told me earlier.”

“Oh,” Bucky tilts his body towards him slightly. “I mean, you don’t really need to come up with pick up line, you know.” he says, lowering his voice and biting his lip.

He wonders if that would work with Steve, and then instantly pushes the thought away. He wasn’t expecting to see David here, or that he’d even want to speak to Bucky, but now he’s on a mission to get laid, so Steve needs to stay out of his mind. 

As if summoned, Steve appears by his side and grabs his arm to get his attention. “Hey, Buck,” he says, grinning. 

Bucky glances at him, surprised and a little annoyed. Steve looks flushed, eyes shining with glee. He’s probably drunker than when they arrived at the party. 

“You wanna go get s’mores? Some people made an actual campfire near the pool. Let’s go!”

“Uh, hey bud, I’m kinda talking to David here,” Bucky says, wriggling free of his grasp. “Go get your s’mores, I’ll come find ya later, yeah?”

“Nooo,” Steve whines, snaking his arm around Bucky’s waist and pulling him away. “Come on, come with me, I miss you.” 

Bucky lets himself be pulled away and looks back at David, trying to communicate with hand gestures that he’ll text him later. When they’re further away, Bucky frees himself from Steve’s grasp and turns to face him head-on. 

“What the hell is wrong with you? I was  _ this _ close from getting into his pants, Steve!”

Steve shrugs. He takes a sip from his drink but the glass is near empty, and all he gets is a tiny bit of water from the melted ice through the straw. “Weren’t you trying to make him jealous? Now he’s jealous.” 

“That was before he came and tried to flirt with me!”

“Soooo, you play hard to get! That’ll make him want you more,” Steve smiles at him goofily, putting a hand on Bucky’s neck. “Come on, let’s go dance.”

“What about the s’mores?”

“No, I wanna dance!” Steve grabs Bucky’s hand and drags him towards the rave. 

Bucky sighs but goes along with it. He lets Steve put a glow stick around his neck, dances to Lady Gaga remixes, tries the weird new cocktail inventions courtesy of Clint and Scott - a disastrous dynamic, really - and almost entirely forgets about David. That is, until they’re leaving the party, Steve’s arm around his shoulder, singing drunkenly in his ear, and Bucky spots David making out with someone on the couch. They’re all but undressing, really, and he cringes and looks away, cursing under his breath.

Steve turns to see what Bucky’s looking at and rolls his eyes. “See, guy’s a jerk. Doesn’t deserve you.” 

“Yeah, alright,” Bucky grumbles, not in the mood to argue, because he knows he’s a dumbass for  _ still  _ wanting to hook up with David. It’s almost just out of stubborness at this point. 

“Don’t be so grouchy. You’re taking home the best looking guy at the party!” Steve announces with all the confidence he definitely doesn’t have, then leans in and smacks a big, wet kiss on Bucky’s cheek.

“Gross,” Bucky makes a show of wiping his cheek. “Behave or I’m putting you in a cab and sending you home.”

“Nooooo,” Steve whines, curling in on Bucky’s side while they wait outside the house, while Bucky keeps checking his phone for the Uber’s arrival. 

Steve falls asleep with his head on Bucky’s shoulder and only startles awake when Bucky nudges him, right as the driver pulls up near his building. Bucky thanks the driver then nods at Steve to follow him out of the cab and up to his floor. Steve drapes himself over Bucky on the elevator ride up and doesn’t really let go until they’re in Bucky’s bedroom, where he falls face-first on the bed. 

Bucky’s not nearly as drunk as Steve. He manages to change out of his clothes and even brush his teeth before he gets in bed, pulling back the covers and waking Steve for the second time that night. 

Steve reluctantly gets up, strips down to his underwear and climbs in bed, immediately plastering himself to Bucky’s side, draping an arm and a leg over him.

“What’s up with you tonight?” Bucky asks under his breath. 

He’s not...uncomfortable exactly. Part of him is loving the physical intimacy, and another part of him is worried Steve still has feelings for him, and now he’s actually...maybe also developing less-than-platonic feelings? Which would be great, except for the fact that they already went on a date and decided to remain friends and  _ that was that. _ They got it over with, and things were perfectly fine and perfectly platonic between them.

“’m feeling cuddly.” Steve mumbles sleepily.

“Clearly.”

“You’re warm. Soft.”

“There there.” Bucky pats him on the head gently, but Steve swats at his arm. 

“Don’t patronize me.”

Bucky snorts a laugh. Even plastered Steve can be such a righteous asshole. He doesn’t feel like sleeping. He may not be able to fall asleep if he doesn’t calm down and get his heart rate back to normal, but it only seems to be increasing with the thoughts that are swimming in his head.

“Steve?” Bucky asks, voice a mere whisper, and gets a grunt in response. “How drunk are you?”

“I’m...three drunk.”

Bucky pushes the man off him. “That doesn’t mean anything. I want to...ask you something.”

“Ask me.” Steve turns his head to look at Bucky, though he can barely keep his eyes open. “I can answer. ‘M sleepy but I can answer.”

“Okay,” Bucky turns to his side, facing Steve, and tucks his hands under his pillow. “Um, you know when we went on that date?”

Steve’s mouth curves into a smile, his eyes having shut again. He looks so soft and vulnerable. Bucky hates that he’s bringing it up right now, but on the off chance this goes sour, Steve may not remember it in the morning, and they can go on being friends and nothing will be ruined. 

“We never kissed.”

“No, we did.”

Bucky frowns. “We didn’t. I’d remember if we did.”

Steve opens his eyes suddenly. “Oh,” he says with a look of surprise on his face. “Yes. We didn’t. You’re right.” 

Bucky is silent for a long moment. He can’t find the courage to say the words. 

Luckily, Steve is braver than him.

“You wanna do it now? Is that why you asked how drunk I am? Wow, you’re such a gentleman.” Steve is grinning now. “You wanna kiss me?”

“Ugh, forget it,” Bucky shoves him and rolls over to lie on his back, crossing his arms against his chest. 

Unluckily, Steve is also a little shit who doesn’t know when to quit. He shuffles closer to Bucky until his face is mere inches away and if Bucky turned his head and leaned in…

“You’re drunk. Go to sleep.”

“No. I wanna kiss you.”

The words melt the last of Bucky’s willpower into nothingness. He finally turns to face Steve. Their eyes meet, and it’s like their minds are linked, and they both lean in and meet in the middle, closing the gap between them, their mouths slotting together perfectly. 

Steve tastes like vodka and raspberries, and Bucky melts into the kiss; he wants to savour the taste, the feeling of Steve's soft lips on his own, sear it into his memory. He lets Steve nudge him to lie on his back and climb over him, put his hands on his body, in his hair. Bucky in turn touches him everywhere; his hands roam over Steve's perfect shoulders and down his chest, grab onto his hips and his tight, round ass. It's really not what he had in mind, but now they're full on making out, all but grinding on each other, really.

They’re breathless when they break apart. 

“Wow,” Steve whispers against his mouth. 

Bucky sucks in a sharp breath, the guilt suddenly hitting him like a punch in his stomach. “Can we,” he starts to say, but his voice is rough and barely audible. Bucky clears his throat and tries again. “Can we go to sleep?”

Steve nods. He places a soft kiss on Bucky's mouth then rolls off him but snuggles in close, and drifts off to sleep. 

Bucky lies awake for a long time. He's torn between wanting to forget this ever happened, and wanting to ask Steve if they can try again. All he's sure about is that he has definitely, indisputably, developed romantic feelings for his best friend. 

  
  


~~

 

Nat and Sharon insist on having movie nights at their place. They gather all their friends who can barely fit in their tiny living room, but everyone piles on the couch or the armchair or the cushions they put on the floor and watch whatever the hosts have decided on. 

“This should be more of a democratic process, you know.” Steve says, kicking off his shoes and putting his feet on the coffee table.

“Uh, excuse me? Get your stinky feet away from my nachos.” Clint says, shoving Steve’s feet away.

“No, it should not.” Natasha says decisively. “We tried that, and it didn’t work. Democracy is a sham.”

“Alright, comrade.”

Nat raises an eyebrow at the blonde, who gives her a cheeky grin in response.

“I hate to say this, but she’s right.”

“Thanks, Barnes.”

“Wow.” Steve breathes. “So this is what betrayal feels like.”

Bucky elbows him in the ribs. “Don’t be so dramatic. I’m just saying that we can never agree on a movie.”

“Of course we do!”

“I meant all eight of us.”

“Oh, then no.”

Bucky turns to look at him and smiles and Steve’s stomach does somersaults at the sight. 

He hates that this is his mind’s standard response now whenever he interacts with Bucky. Like now, sitting next to each other, watching a movie with the rest of their friends. A perfectly innocent, platonic engagement. 

But no. His brain just has to focus entirely on the warmth Bucky’s body emits, sitting so close together that their thighs are touching; the rich, deep scent of his aftershave; the little comments he makes during the movie that has Steve giggling and the rest of the group shushing them. It’s a horror movie, with jump scares and bad dialogue and people’s limbs getting chopped off, and Steve really cannot stand the genre in general. But Bucky’s next to him, so it’s alright.

They stay late, playing card games and going through several bottles of cheap wine, and at some point after midnight the hosts kick everyone out. Bucky offers to help clean up, and Steve, being the dumbass he is, tells Sam and Scott to head off and that he’ll take the bus with Bucky. 

“Aw, look, Bucky’s got himself a bodyguard.” Sharon comments sarcastically, and she and Natasha laugh.

Bucky just looks at him and grins and Steve gets tongue-tied, unable to come up with a snarky response, he just blushes and looks away. 

When the elevator doors open on their floor, Steve gestures for Bucky to go in, and Bucky grins at him. 

“Wow, you’re really taking this bodyguard job seriously.”

“Shut up.”

“Do you have an earpiece?” Bucky asks, craning his neck to check on either side and gets shoved playfully as a result. “Are you wearing a Kevlar vest?” he asks, placing his palms on Steve’s torso and patting him down. 

“Cut it out, you jerk.” Steve responds by pushing his arms away, but he can’t help but smile because having Bucky’s warm hands on him feels… nice.

Something in his brain clicks into place and Steve’s mind is flooded with a memory, of another time when Bucky had touched him like that. Suddenly, there’s an image in his head; the two of them in his bed, kissing and touching each other, naked, in the dark. 

They’re walking to the bus stop, with Bucky’s arm linked with his, almost dragging him along. Bucky’s talking, saying something and laughing to himself, but Steve doesn’t hear him. The memory - if it is a memory and not something he dreamt - shocks him. 

Did they kiss? Did they have sex? Or was it something he dreamt and then forgot about? He definitely wouldn’t have forgotten if he’d hooked up with his best friend, Steve thinks, so it must’ve been a dream. 

“Hey, dumbass, are you listening?”

The question snaps him out of his thoughts. “Huh?”

“What’re you thinking about?” Bucky asks, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. 

Steve very nearly blurts out,  _ “You.” _

“I’m just sleepy,” he mumbles instead, faking a yawn to really sell it. 

“Okay, grandpa.”

Bucky pulls out his phone and starts typing out a reply to a text and Steve doesn’t mean to, really, but he sneaks a peek and sees the name  _ ‘David’  _ on top of the chat window.

“You’re still going after him, huh?”

Oh, shit. He shouldn’t have said that. Did he sound annoyed? He might have sounded annoyed. 

But Bucky just shrugs. “He wants me to come over.”

Steve looks away before he says anything incriminating. 

“You don’t think I should go over, huh?” Bucky asks after a beat of silence. 

They’ve reached the bus stop, but the night bus schedule is even worse than during the day, so they’ll be waiting for a while. It’s chilly, and Bucky zips up his jacket and puts his hands in his jeans pockets. 

Steve glances at him briefly. “You’re free to do as you wish.”

“You know you’re a terrible liar. Are you at least  _ trying  _ to sound convincing?”

Steve tries to hold back a smile and fails. “Least I’m not a slut.” he mumbles, but loud enough for Bucky to hear. 

Bucky just grins and starts typing another text. “I like sex. Besides, what else am I gonna do at 2am on a Saturday night. Also, I am super horny, so unless  _ you _ wanna sleep with me...”

Steve blushes to the tip of his ears. He’s heard this line before, and he knows Bucky’s joking, but it’s different now that he’s gone and become smitten with his best friend. He hums and rolls on the balls of his feet as he tries to think of an appropriate response.

“We can get pizza.”

“Pass.”

“I have weed?”

“Nope. Still choosing sex.”

Steve laughs. “Okay, be honest. Why do you like him?”

Bucky puts his phone away and looks at him. “I don’t know. He’s hot.”

“And?”

“And… I want to get dicked. Why  _ don’t  _ you like him?”

“I just…” Steve shrugs and sits down on the bench next to the bus stop. “I think you deserve better than being ignored. Or getting a booty call at 2am.”

“Yeah, he has been kind of a dick.” Bucky sighs and sits down next to him. “Hey, Steve? Did it hurt?”

Steve blinks, surprised by the question. He looks at Bucky and asks, “What?”

“Did it hurt?”

“Did what hurt?”

“When you fell from the vending machine…” Bucky grins. “‘Cause you’re a snack.”

Steve snorts a laugh. “Good one.”

“David told me that.”

“And that worked? Wow, you  _ are _ easy.”

Bucky shoves him so hard that Steve almost falls off the bench, but he’s laughing so much that he doesn’t care. 

“Oh man, I’m starving. Hey. I retroactively accept your offer to buy me pizza.”

“How gracious of you.”

Bucky giggles and they fall silent. After waiting another ten minutes for the bus that never comes, they give up and order an Uber, picking up a pizza on their way and heading over to Bucky’s so Steve doesn’t have to spend more money on a second trip to his own place.

“Hey, thanks for letting me crash here.” Steve says later on, when they’re in bed. It’s dark in the room, except for the light from the lamp post outside, filtering in through Bucky’s half-broken blinds. He’s lying on his side, facing Bucky, who’s on his back, with his gaze to the ceiling, and Steve can’t help but watch him. 

Bucky is beautiful. How had he not noticed it before?

“Don’t mention it.” Bucky mumbles, seemingly lost in thought. 

“Are you sleepy?”

“No.”

Steve bites down on his lip. “Do you wanna play twenty questions?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Come on,” Steve nudges him gently. “You go first.”

“No. I hate playing with you. You always pick the dumbest things.”

“Come onnnnnnn, I swear I’ll pick something easy.”

“Forget it.” Bucky turns his back on Steve and pulls the covers to his shoulders. “You can play with Akinator.”

“But he always gets it right in like ten questions! It’s not fun.”

“That sucks.” 

“Spoilsport. Do you wanna watch something?”

“Steve,” Bucky sighs, turning around to face him. “Do you realise we are not in fact 8 year olds having a sleepover?”

Steve laughs. “Come on, I’m wide awake.”

“Go read a book.”

Steve huffs and rolls onto his back. There’s a brief moment of silence before he speaks up again. “Why didn’t you go over?”

“I’m playing hard to get.”

“And you think that’ll work?”

Bucky shrugs. “We’ll see.”

“You should-” Steve pauses, hesitating. “You should kiss me.”

His stomach is in knots, waiting for Bucky’s response, which seems to be taking forever. Gathering every ounce of courage he has, Steve turns his head to meet Bucky’s eyes. He looks surprised, his eyes scanning over Steve’s face, searching for clues as to what Steve’s thinking.

“I mean, to make him jealous.”

“Oh.” Bucky says in a quiet tone. “I thought you were against that whole thing. Using people, and their feelings and what not.”

Steve shrugs. “What feelings?” he says, trying to sound nonchalant, as if he’s not actually harbouring romantic feelings for his best friend. 

“Right.” Bucky looks up at the ceiling again. “Maybe.”

They fall silent. Bucky drifts off to sleep first, and then Steve, feeling his eyelids droop as he watches the rhythmic rise and fall of Bucky’s chest, and listens to the soothing sound of his even breathing.

  
  


~~

  
  


This paper is going to have to write itself, because Bucky is 100% done with it.

First of all, nobody cares about Freud anymore. 

Secondly, speaking of psychosexual issues, Bucky’s mind is currently occupied with less-than-platonic thoughts of his best friend, as his fledgling of a crush has developed into a full blown, ‘I am in love with my best friend’ monstrosity that Bucky can hardly control. 

He finds himself daydreaming about Steve when things are slow at work, or when he’s trying to study, or - and this is the worst of all - when he’s taking a long shower. He feels guilty about it afterward, yet that doesn’t stop him from reaching between his legs and closing his eyes and thinking about Steve’s perfect, pink mouth, and how he tasted of vodka and raspberries; what it might be like to have him there with him, naked and wet; to touch him, and be touched by him. 

Bucky knows he could kiss him again, if he wanted to. He has an excuse to do so, what was suggested by Steve himself. But that’s not what he wants. Pretenses and excuses.

He thinks about confessing his attraction, and asking Steve if he wants to give it one more try, but his mind comes up with imagined scenarios and what ifs that drive him crazy.  _ What if he rejects you. What if it makes him uncomfortable. What if things get awkward and the friendship is ruined.  _

Bucky puts his laptop aside and heads to the bathroom with the intention of taking a cold shower to clear his head. He’s in the middle of taking his shirt off when there’s a loud knock at the door. Bucky groans, puts his shirt back on and goes to answer the door, only to be greeted by Steve. 

“Hey - what are-”

Steve crosses the threshold and says, “We never kissed.”

Bucky blinks, confused. “What?”

“At the end of our date. We didn’t kiss. And I think we should. To see if it’ll be weird or… not.”

Bucky takes a moment to register what’s happening. He can’t decide between reminding Steve of the time they did kiss, after that party, where Steve got really drunk and maybe forgot it ever happened. Or he could take the opportunity that has presented itself so readily and kiss Steve.

Except, it has become too obvious to miss. 

“Oh my God,” Bucky says, eyes growing wide. “You like me.”

Steve shuffles from foot to foot, but says nothing. “I just think-”

“We did kiss. You don’t remember that, do you?” 

“We did? When?” Steve asks, genuinely surprised. 

“After the party at Stark’s house.” Bucky admits sheepishly. “You were really drunk. You forgot that happened?”

Steve opens his mouth to say something then closes it, looking entirely dumbfounded. “I thought… I imagined it. Or, um… dreamed it.” He mumbles, his cheeks flooding with colour. 

“But you came here to tell me we should kiss.”

Steve can’t meet him in the eye. He shrugs. “I thought - we should _ try _ \- maybe it’s - you know what, nevermind, this was stupid, I’m going.”

“No, no,” Bucky grabs his arm, gently pulling him back so they’re standing face to face. “And the other night… when you said I should kiss you, to make David jealous? I can’t believe...” Bucky trails off, grinning ear to ear.

“Alright,” Steve lets out a long breath. “It was just curiosity, okay? I didn’t realise… I mean I was drunk so you know, I kind of forgot. I didn’t know it was real. Anyway,  _ you’re _ the one who put the idea in my head!”

“What idea?” Bucky asks, taken aback by the accusatory tone.

“You know… of us.” Steve says, gesturing between them. 

“ _ Me? _ You said you had feelings for me!” he cries out.

“When did I ever say that?!”

Bucky stares at him, confused. “Why did you think I asked you out?”

“Because...you had feelings for me?”

“No!”

“No?”

“No!  _ You  _ said I should consider people’s feelings, and I said, okay, let’s go on a date, you know, give it a shot.”

Steve’s jaw drops. “I was speaking hypothetically… oh my God.” His eyes grow wide in horror. “This was all a misunderstanding? Oh my God. You never had feelings for me.”

“No,” Bucky says, voice soft. “I mean...yes. I mean. I do have- have feelings, now.”

“You do?”

“Yeah. I think… you do, too. Right?”

Steve shuffles closer to him. “Yeah,” he whispers. “I wanted an excuse to kiss you.”

“Yeah,” Bucky breathes, taking a moment to gather his thoughts because _ is this really happening?  _ He takes a step closer to Steve, reaching out to poke him in the chest gently. “You’re not that sly.”

“Guess not,” says Steve, smiling, and then he’s kissing him, bringing his arms to wrap around Bucky’s middle, pulling him close. Bucky smiles against Steve’s mouth, the joy in his heart uncontained. They laugh when they break apart, and kiss again and again and again. 

At night, they lie in bed, facing each other, unable to wipe the smiles off their faces. 

“Are you embarrassed?” Bucky asks, voice a mere whisper. 

“That you’ve seen me naked?”

“No,” Bucky chuckles. “Just… the whole thing. It was so dumb.”

“Yeah, well...I mean, its you, so...” Steve grins, and catches Bucky’s wrist in an attempt to block his attack. 

“You’re the dumb one.” Bucky retaliates.

“Sure,” Steve says, pressing his lips against Bucky’s knuckles. “We can just be dumb together, then.”

“Deal.”

  
  


 


End file.
